Diary of a Closet Freak

They may be huge udders or they may be bite sized little morsels. They may sag or sit upright. They come in many varieties and can change over time. They are supposed to match perfectly- but in the real world, without surgery- they are normally slightly irregular…Regardless of the wide array of available shapes and sizes- one thing is sure. All of us women have them. Breasts- titties- hooters…whatever you want to call them. They come in pairs and believe it or not, they are attached to the clitoris with an invisible string. But all too often, men ignore them or mishandle them during sex, instead choosing to focus all the attention down low…What a lost opportunity to drive a woman out of her mind…

In light of the crucial role these twins play in sexual pleasure for most women, I decided to provide some instruction on the appropriate manipulation of titties in enhancing female pleasure. As usual- here is my Copulation College disclaimer- This is what works for me. All women are different, but you may pick up some useful tips. These suggestions may serve as new information to some, reminders to others, or confirmation that you are already doing the right thing…

1. First guys, I know you are naturally drawn to the pussy. But it will be there. Don’t automatically rush to the panties. Take the time to remove my bra and caress my breasts which are very sensitive. If you are the man, you should know how to release the clasp without bumbling around. That is a highschool skill. Starting with the boobies will start getting the kitty nice and wet for you by the time you get down there with your fingers or your mouth. The twins serve as a forecast, letting you know my level of arousal because the nipples get harder as we ladies get aroused.
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You might be wondering what good manners has to do with pussy. Believe it or not, gentlemen, displaying chivalry towards women on a consistent basis is GARUN-TEED to get you increased pussy. For many of you out there pussy is like the holy grail, so it is really worth the extra effort. I got this idea from another blogger’s post called Deadened Chivalry. It made me realize how most of us women in general appreciate a little old-fashioned gallantry, but I fear it is a lost art, so that is why I decided to address this important topic with a lesson here at Copulation College.

Simple Examples of Chivalry-
-Pay for my drinks, as well as my girlfriend if she is with me and single (that act of chivalry alone might get you a threesome if you get us drunk enough!). Pick me up for our dates instead of telling me to meet you (guys in NYC are notorious for that shit). Arrive early for our dates and dress nicely instead of looking like you came from basketball practice. (more…)

Welcome back to Copulation College. Today’s how to lesson is entitled Going Downtown Without Getting Lost…aka Licking the Kitty Right. I have yet to meet a woman who doesn’t love oral sex when it is done right, but unfortunately a lot of women are getting head-aches instead of great head. So, I have decided to share some of my expertise which has solely been gained from the receiving end. Of course this lesson would not be possible if it wasn’t for some fabulous linguists out there who have provided incredible pleasure to me. Give yourself a pat on the back if you happen by my blog today.

1. Attitude- Guys go down there with a gusto and act like you really want it. Forget being squeamish and half-hearted. There’s nothing worse than a nigga acting like he is tired or not into it. This leads to woman faking orgasms to put you out of your misery.
2. Warm Up- Don’t just take the panty off and go downtown without getting blood flowing to the kitty. Stroke it thru my panties, talk dirty in my ear, pinch my nipples, squeeze or slap my ass cheeks, stick a finger in there to make sure things are getting wet, then you may proceed. (more…)

Just for the heck of it I decided to start a new category on this blog called Copulation College for articles on different aspects of guess what…Sex! Let me say upfront that I am by no means an expert and I don’t claim to be. I just want to share my version of things that drive me (and maybe other women) wild. Guys who read the blog may find it interesting and ladies may agree or disagree or add their own tips in the comments section….With that said, today’s topic is How to Talk Dirty in other words, the Lost Art of Aural Sex lol. Obviously, I am not talking about a nigga sticking his dick in my ear!..I ain’t that freaky yet.

If there is one thing I love is for a nigga to talk dirty to me when we are fucking or getting ready to do that thang. That includes profanity and names like bitch, and slut. I don’t mind the names cuz I know that the nigga respects me outside of the bedroom- if not, I have no business messing with him at all. Even if I’m not in the mood, the right special words can sometimes end up making me give Him some…The way I see it, there are five main potential categories. Below are some of my favorite phrases that have worked on me or that I’ve imagined up or seen in some romantic movie. You might want to put some of these Talking Dirty phrases to use the next time you are putting it down:
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