Diary of a Closet Freak

January 16, 2006

Target Liar

Filed under: Regarding Sex

Last night I was a Target, minding my own business, looking for some knives and forks since the ones I have here seem to just get up and walk away. I was standing around in the aisle, mulling over the decision- frosted or shiny forks?

Anyway, this older gentleman walks over and tells me he likes “it”, referring to the frosted forks. I was like really? I’m trying to make up my mind…He proceeded to tell me which kind he recently bought for his new house, etc. He told me he was recently divorced and setting up house on his own and how much fun that was…blah, blah, basically telling me how he had it going on.

So I was like if the package is so tight, why did he get divorced. He claims that the ex-wifey quit wanting to have sex, and I was like well you must not have been handling your business then.

So then here are the lies he responded with: He stated that they used to have sex EVERY single night 4-5 times a night and that she used to come every single time, but that she just had “issues” with sex… YEAH right! LIAR. LIAR. I don’t believe that is humanly possible, unless he was on some meds!

At this point I wanted to start moving away from the man cuz I just knew a bolt of lighting was going to strike him where he stood for the lies!!! When I told him I had to be going, he said I was exactly his type and that could he get the number…I have to say I was flattered cuz its not like I was looking super fly and I do have a thing for older guys…But I do loathe liars and pepetrators and his dick is probably going to fall off due to all the lies the man was telling…

But I am just curious how many times can the average guy do it in a night and how many times in a month? Can anyone really do the do EVERY single day?






















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