How Many is Too Many?
When it comes to sexual partners, how many is just too many? I don’t mean all at once, but over a life span. Let’s face it, very few of us women are remaining virginally pure for the marriage bed these days, and most of us don’t end up with the man who first deflowered us. (Real good thing for me on that point). The issue of sex normally comes up pretty quickly in most relationships, sometimes even on the first date. Then there’s the inevitable dilemma…should I or should I not give up the kitty?
I have to be honest. There’s been a number times when my mind was telling me no, but my body, my body was telling me yes…So I sucked the dick, got the kitty licked, and did plenty of bumping and grinding, but stopped short of going all the way (to put it proverbially). I really was saying no solely because I was scrupulously keeping count of how many men have penetrated the poonani and I have just never wanted to be guilty of sleeping with “too many” men. But I’ve never really defined what that number is…Is it 10, 20, 50? Maybe it doesn’t even matter and I’ve been passing up some delectable dicks over the years for no good reason.
Then there’s the issue of whether to tell the true number if my man ever asks this touchy question…How many men have you been with? I would hate to give the “wrong answer”. According to my dear mother, a woman should never answer this query, period. We all know there’s a double standard between men and women in this area. If a man says he’s been with 80 different women, I would think he is a freak and a bit promiscuous, but possibly still deal with him, depending on the other variables, (including disease status). But I think if a woman said she had been with 80 different men…she would be looked down on by men and women alike.
Another aspect to this topic is whether oral sex counts as actual sex. Personally, I’m from the camp that says Bill Clinton did not lie- that he truly DID NOT have sexual relations with Monica Lewdwinsky. To me its not sex unless a pregnancy or a hemoroid could result from the act. If not, let’s see how many orgasms we can have… Some men may say I was teasing…but in truth, I was just trying to keep the penetration numbers down…I mean damn- blue balls never killed a man!
I don’t really know what made this topic come to mind other than contemplating that I am off to a rather slow start in meeting my 2006 resolution of fucking no less than 100 times this year. I would love to hear from everyone else. How many guys can I fuck before I am officially a hoe?
Hmmm, I dont think you can have to many sex partners, as long as you are discreet. Dont be a wide open hoe about yours. Keep it low, and its all good.
I dont see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind
Comment by Closet Owner — January 6, 2006 @ 10:27 pm
As long as you feel good about it and you keep it to yourself, I think that you shouldn’t worry abou the numbers. The only exception is if you have some sort of addiction.
Comment by Walk In Closet Owner — January 8, 2006 @ 1:46 am
First of all, your mother is absolutely right! I just say it’s none of your business. I think the issue probably deals with how much “wear and tear” sex is causing you. As long as you are keeping yourself protected from getting, you know, stuff…you should be alright. The body physically can handle the sex. Well, most of the time LOL. I would be more concerned about the emotional wearing when dealing with that many people/men because it can be really draining and having that many lovers and then trying to healthy for the enduring relationships.
Comment by sumisse — January 8, 2006 @ 9:16 am
There are only a handful of times in my life I’ve asked a partner how many people she’d been with. I kept from asking one girlfriend because I was afraid of the answer. I knew she’d been very active (she admitted that). She was so good in bed it was freakish. I never wanted to know how many men it took her to get that good. Other times, I wanted to know because my partners weren’t that knowledgeable. I wanted to know what I was working with. Even long term partnerships don’t always yield a good knowldege of sex and how to please a partner. If you absolutely MUST tell him and you think you can get away with it, a good # is 9. If you have a reputation, he’ll know you are lying and that’s not good. The best scenario is just to avoid it. “We all have pasts, I don’t care about yours, I’m with you now.” is an excellent answer. And never ask him about his experience. Sorry we still have a double standard, but if a woman I was seeing told me she slept with more than 20 men I might freak out a little. I can’t help it. I want a woman who know’s what she’s doing though, so I just don’t ask. In the long run, it doesn’t really matter. As long as you aren’t carrying luggage for life (kids, herpes, etc…) This is a good topic. One I wish I had a better answer for… I’m sorry I can’t overcome in my mind the stud/slut thing. I’ve tried. And I advise all my women friends to get all they can. I don’t judge them for wanting the same things I do. I agree with Walk in Closet - be discreet.
Oh, one last thing. A blowjob is NOT sex. Why send a man off with blue balls, that is just being a cocktease. He just wants release. A blowjob is one of the best ways to get that. At least give him that. Practice makes perfect right?
Comment by The Seeker — January 8, 2006 @ 1:34 pm
when men ask how many guys you’ve slept with, they really don’t want to know the truth. good luck with your goal however when you get ready to settle down remember, when mr. right asks how many men… just say “a few”.
Comment by coffee — January 9, 2006 @ 3:54 am
These are some really good comments. I do want to note that I ain’t trying to sleep with 100 DIFFERENT men this year… I am just trying to get fucked 100 TIMES- most likely with the dick that is already available..however there are some real tempting options out there…
Comment by closetfreak — January 9, 2006 @ 4:01 am
Unfortunately, when it comes to this topic, there is a double standard for men and women.
I stopped counting some time ago. Because I wanted to be able to honestly look a woman in the eye and say i don’t know what the actual number is. That might back fire on me, but it beats the hell out of saying yeah, I’ve been with about a hundred women. lol
Comment by Serial_Dater — January 9, 2006 @ 2:54 pm
I say the number of times per person and overlap is really what gives someone an honorary degree in being a hoe. If you keep your stuff protected and FRESH then you might be a sex fiend but not a hoe. If you can smell someone else on you while you’re with another person and you’re not swinging then you might be a hoe. That chic Kobe tapped in Colorado is a hoe. If you advertise your stuff you could be a hoe too. There’s no such thing as a Classy hoe, just one that tries to be classy. Keep your stardards and get your freak on Girl!!
Comment by Angel — January 12, 2006 @ 3:22 pm
I think it depends on your age as well to determine how many is too many. If your 25 and have slept with 50 dudes that quite a bit..
Comment by Zeezy4Sheezy — January 14, 2006 @ 8:37 pm
I think the best thing is to lie. My husband still was guessing he would find something out and I would laugh it off but the fool is not crazy either.
Comment by Rhonda — January 29, 2006 @ 9:11 pm
i dont think its anyones business but yours…if you want to tell, go ahead…i know i dont tell, not even my close girlfriends know because its not their business..i know exactly how many men i have been with, some may think its not a lot, some may think its too many…but it really doesnt matter…i dont know why folks ask…i never ask because i really dont want to kow..i ask questions like: when was the last time u were tested? how often do you get tested? do you believe in wearing condoms?
Comment by spel — January 30, 2006 @ 4:15 pm
I am sort of rare for a guy in that I don’t really care. If my partner is D&D free, that’s all I ask. Actually it concerns me if a potential partner has not experienced her share of things, be it a variety of partners or just some freaky stuff. I want a lady who knows what she wants, what she likes and doesn’t have any big regrets over her past. If she is D&D free, I’m cool with almost anything she has done in her past.
The one thing that does bother me is if she has a history of dating married men, or cheating on her partners. Either way it shows she does not respect relationships. her’s or those of others.
Comment by dave — February 5, 2006 @ 5:32 am
I think it depends on how long the individual has been sexually active. But for me the crux is whether there were any overlapping partners thats definitely a no-no…
Comment by Morountodun — June 18, 2006 @ 10:39 pm
h.o.e.=having orgasms everyday
give the cooch a recess…sheesh!
from one funky low down once a month bleeding bitch to the next. air that shit out mayne!
Comment by MzBigDrawls — May 21, 2007 @ 9:43 am
In the long run, I think the amount doesn’t really matter no more than with whom you did it with. Love doesn’t really conquer all, but if you’re together with somebody new, if you really love the person, you wouldn’t care about how many sexual relationships s/he’d had. This ebook I’m reading talks about intimacy as the true definition of love, and it isn’t the quantity that matters. It’s the quality.
Comment by Nicole — September 17, 2007 @ 1:07 pm