Kirk Pornlin
Did anyone see the Kirk Pornlin–oops–(Franklin) interview last week on Oprah? He claims he’s addicted to pornography, and feels that we all needed to share his pain. Whatever. Let’s be honest blogosphere- isn’t everyone addicted to pornography? I don’t see what the problem is if a grown man likes to look at naked women on the computer on occasion or if he likes watching grown people fornicating on a flick every now and then. As long as children aren’t involved and everyone is legally consenting- what is the big deal?
It’s not like he was physcially cheating on his wife. He was trying to share it with her, but she wasn’t having it. I personally think that it was his wife who caused his little vice to blow up into a big problem. If she had been a little more open-minded about it and willing to watch a flick or two with her man, he wouldn’t have gotten to the point where he felt like he had to hide it and been digging in dumpsters and all that in the middle of the night. The problem he really seemed to be having was leading the secret life because he was trying to conceal everything from his wife- not that pornography had damaged him in some way.
This is not to say I am advocating signing up on every internet porn site or buying hundrends of videos. Everything in moderation. On some level, we all have bad habits/vices. Some people smoke cigarettes or the ‘la’. Others spent countless hours in front of ESPN, FSN, NBA TV, and CSS. Still others spent an inordinate amount of time on the computer. Some spend half their life on the cell phone. Basically everyone has something they do for relaxation or stimulation. As long as it isn’t causing isolation and isn’t ruling a person’s life and finances…I say do your thang.
As I said, I look at porn whenever I feel like it- sometimes out of curiosity, other times horniness and at other times to pick up a few tricks of the trade. I don’t feel that I have anything to hide in that regard and I wouldn’t deal with a man who tried to make an issue out of it. I actually think porn and sex toys can spice up a couples’ sex life and actually bring people closer because of the ability to be open about fantasies. However, the thing is both people have to be down with it- otherwise there will be problems.
Those are just my thoughts on the issue. I would love to hear from others. Who else is watching porn- either internet or on tv? I know me and Kirk aren’t the only closetfreaks out there. What do you get out of it and how much is too much before you know you’re addicted? Do any guys out there watch porn, but then have a problem with the ladies watching it? I’m your internet Oprah. Holla at me.
Clapping my hand. I find few women share the opinion about “their man” and porn. I missed that show but seen enough of them
where she has women on that feel that looks at porn he’s cheating on them.
Porn is safe sex. When is to much? When it takes too much money from the family. Too much is when you can’t have sex without it.
Porn wasn’t Kirk’s problem lack of honesty was! Should have been in the begining of the relationship. If you like porn and the spouse don’t you ain’t a match!
Strange
Comment by Strange — December 6, 2005 @ 2:23 am
To be honest with you I don’t think I could even date someone who wasn’t into watching flicks
like me. I think it makes sex that much kinkier while trying to acting out certain scenes
Comment by Zeezy4Sheezy — December 13, 2005 @ 3:46 pm
Hell yeah I watch some flicks…in fact as you know, I regularly (at least I try to) post some of my favorites on my blog. I just posted 2–scenes with Cherokee and Lexi. And once I discovered torrent files, it was ALL over….LOL.
Agree with the sex toys too…it adds some spice. I love having them used on me and I love using them on my woman.
Comment by 'Round Midnight — December 14, 2005 @ 11:59 am
I miss you, ClosetFreak, where did you go?
Comment by T in NYC — December 16, 2005 @ 2:24 am
Well said. *Joins in the round of applause.*
Comment by The Seeker — December 22, 2005 @ 4:20 pm
I saw the show, and the man you speak of didnt simply have a “vice”.. He has an ADDICTION! Theres a HUGE difference people!Furthermore, to place blame on his wife for not being “openminded’ enough, is like blaming the partner of a raging alcoholic for his drinking..ie>if she wasnt such a bitch, maybe he wouldnt drink so much.Although i can appreciate the views of another, i must admit this one had me passionately angered.Let me explain that i speak from personal experience with this “porn addiction”.People who are not addicted to porn dont crawl into dumpsters to retrieve porn video’s.. but.. people who are ADDICTED do!.This is not about having a partner or wife who doesnt understand the sexual desires of her man, or is sexually cold.Let me say, that what began as a pleasurable experience for my Ex husband and i, (we enjoyed it together often)grew into and OBSESSION and COMPULSION for him,(the evil twins in every addiction) that ripped through our marriage like the ugliest of beasts.I dont think theres a person on left on this planet who has not been effected by addiction, wether it be your own, or that of a friend or loved one.Just as a person with an addiction to a drug, will eventually stop at NOTHING to get a fix, so will people with a sexual addiction. It has the ability to KILL.It kills friendships, partnerships and marriages, jobs, responsibility and sensibility, and unfortunately PEOPLE.you may thinking “dumpster diggin ” for porn a bit off the hook,.. but it gets worse.People having unsafe, unprotected ,unlimitted sexual encounters, trying to get their “fix”..only to bring home the final fix..(AIDS) to their unsuspecting partners and even to their unborn children.I think perhaps ya missed the point this gentleman was trying to make,and im glad he has an understanding and commited wife who will stick with him on his journey into wellness.After 21 years of marriage, it was a burden i could no longer bare.
Comment by adorhym — December 25, 2005 @ 6:29 pm
Master and i are the people that the commercial advertisements talk about. We look at porn DAILY..some days all day long as we work and talk and do what we need to do. People have unprotected sex without ever looking at porn.
Comment by aphrodite — December 30, 2005 @ 1:59 am
I love your blog. Hope you have a great New Year….
Comment by kiki — January 1, 2006 @ 10:58 am
Anything in excess can be bad for you. Having said that though…I feel that there is this culture of shame regarding sexuality especially in conservative religious circles/churches/households/individuals whatever. I dont know the long term affects of porn watched by a “functioning” individual meaning one who can still make it to work and pay rent lol, but I do know that a lot of people are still very judgemental about pornography/erotica and for some people it is something that they can’t share with their partners and the orginial blog speaks to that.
Comment by sumisse — January 8, 2006 @ 9:27 am
I think the reason wifey was so upset about Kirk looking at “the porn” is cause he wasnt looking at hetero stuff, but homo. Men on men. Stag parties. You get where Im coming from, lol. Have you seen the pics from their vow renewal? Most of the men in that bridal party were MSMs - Men who have Sex with Men.
Comment by Lola Gets — December 3, 2006 @ 11:33 pm